i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Randomize
