He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
