U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
