Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
