Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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