rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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