They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
