College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
