I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
