I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
