Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
