I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She bit a glass in half.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
