just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I believe in your delicious
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
