He disabled his match.com account in front of me
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
