OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
