We won't sleep together?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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