you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
