I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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