Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
