Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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