I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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