shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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