i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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