Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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