May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
