direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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