Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
