I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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