All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
