his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
