I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
