My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Randomize