we're blogging at a bar
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just gift wrapped bread.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
