And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
