I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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