That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
