but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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