my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize