Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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