You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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