I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
