Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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