no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
