Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
