We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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