Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
