need another drink. this is the easiest way
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize