I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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