What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize