did you get engaged???
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
