I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
