I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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