are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize