am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
