He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
