Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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