AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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