I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
