why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I need to calm my uterus...
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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