And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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