I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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