Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
