no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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