I just pynch a tree in the face
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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