i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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