All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
