Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
