We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
